Key Takeaways

  • Excessive self-focus, often exacerbated by social media, acts as an “enemy of awe,” fueling loneliness and anxiety among young people.
  • Traditional collective experiences like shared meals and group activities are declining, contributing to a modern “epidemic of loneliness.”
  • Intentionally seeking and creating shared moments of awe with others helps quiet egocentric thoughts and fosters genuine community.
  • Rebuilding human connection requires active participation in communal events, moving beyond isolating digital interactions.

The “Me Drug” Effect: Self-Focus as the Enemy of Awe

For ambitious builders, the drive for individual achievement can inadvertently lead to isolation. Andrew Huberman and Dacher Keltner expose how excessive self-focus, particularly when amplified by certain aspects of social media, actively undermines our well-being and connection. Huberman starkly compares this self-centered mindset to “the me drug,” likening it to substances like cocaine where the experience is “all about me.”

Keltner, a psychologist specializing in awe, pinpoints “meanness” or “egotism” as “the great enemy of awe.” He cites Ralph Waldo Emerson, noting that “all mean egotism vanishes” in the presence of awe because it “quiets the self.” This isn’t just about personal feeling; it extends to how founders build teams and company culture. A culture of pure self-interest, where individual gain trumps collective purpose, will struggle to inspire genuine commitment or loyalty.

The Silent Epidemic: Loneliness and Lost Rituals

The podcast highlights a disturbing trend: an “epidemic of loneliness” driven by a decline in shared experiences. Keltner provides concrete examples: “picnics are down by half. We don’t go to movies like we used to. We don’t um we don’t listen to music together… 30% of meals in the United States people eat them by themselves.”

These aren’t just minor lifestyle shifts; they represent a fundamental erosion of the communal fabric that naturally generates awe and connection. While social media promises connection, Keltner points out its flaw in this regard: “What makes them feel awe no one ever said being on Meta or Facebook or you know or uh you know or Instagram.” These platforms often reinforce self-focus rather than broaden our perspective.

Reclaiming Awe: The Power of Shared Experience

The antidote, according to Huberman and Keltner, lies in consciously shifting away from the “too much self-focus” that “makes them anxious.” They observe a re-emerging interest among younger generations in collective experiences – from game nights to shared wellness practices. These are not just social activities; they are opportunities for genuine connection and shared awe.

Keltner suggests we need to “go dance,” “hear some music,” “share stuff and go backpacking or whatever it is, you know, and just to get out of the self.” This means prioritizing shared, real-world experiences that naturally quiet the ego and foster a sense of belonging. For founders, this translates directly to team cohesion and company culture. A team that experiences awe together, whether through shared challenges or celebratory moments, will be far more resilient and innovative than one fragmented by individual pursuits.

What to Do With This

Schedule one “awe-walk” with a colleague or friend this week in nature, focusing on shared observation rather than personal reflection. Alternatively, organize a team meal where phones are put away, or attend a local community event (concert, market) with your co-founders or a few team members. The goal is a shared, real-world experience that pulls you out of individual self-focus and into collective presence.