Key Takeaways
- Humanizing a dog is a selfish act, not an act of love. Cesar Millan and Andrew Huberman agree that projecting human emotions onto pets fulfills our own needs, but often leads to anxiety and behavioral issues for the animal.
- Respect their true nature first. Before considering breed or name, acknowledge a dog's spirit and instincts as an animal. Millan says, “before he's costello. He's an animal. That's right. Spirit. Ah, spirit, animal, specy, breed, name. You see? So, the last thing they are is the breed in the name.”
- Your desire for affection can blind you to real needs. Huberman admits it's “very selfish of me to come home and want a certain kind of interaction with my pet costello, but to put the interaction in the terms that work for me.”
- Effective leadership hinges on understanding, not projecting. Cesar Millan's philosophy for dogs—exercise, discipline, and affection—highlights meeting their fundamental needs before layering on human wants. This applies equally to leading teams or building products.
The Selfish Trap of Humanizing
Most of us think we're doing our pets a favor by treating them like little furry humans. We assign them complex emotions, let them dictate household rules, and console them with cuddles when what they need is a walk. But on a recent Huberman Lab episode, dog trainer Cesar Millan and host Andrew Huberman cut through that sentimentality, calling it what it is: selfish.
Millan states it bluntly: “Humanizing a dog is a is it good for the dog? No. Right. It's not good. It's good for the human, you know. It's good for the human fantasy and and uh fulfillment uh emotional fulfillment or whatever thing they have in their mind. But is it is it good for the dog to be a human? Why would he wants to be a human?” It's a mirror reflecting our own desires back at us, often at the animal's expense. Huberman echoes this, reflecting on his own dog, Costello. He admitted it felt "very selfish of me to come home and want a certain kind of interaction with my pet costello, but to put the interaction in the terms that work for me."
This isn't just about dogs. Think about your team, your product, or your market. Are you projecting your own desires, fantasies, or emotional fulfillment onto them? Do you demand a certain interaction because it makes you feel good, even if it goes against their core nature or needs? Huberman put it sharply: “I feel like we are so selfish as a species like that these animals are here for us and just for us to give me love when I get home to console me when I'm sad to give me all the things I want. Yeah. That I would be blind to the the basic needs of that animal.”
Leading With Instincts, Not Projections
What truly makes a dog feel safe, secure, and happy? It's not humanizing them. It's respecting their fundamental animal nature. Millan emphasizes a hierarchy: first, spirit, then animal, species, breed, and finally, name. The last thing a dog is, he argues, is its breed and name. It's an animal first, driven by instinct. This means providing clear leadership, structured routines like walks, and specific greeting rituals that speak to their canine understanding, not human sentimentality.
This principle applies directly to any founder leading a team or building a product. Are you trying to lead your team like they're extensions of your own thoughts, or are you tuning into their individual and collective 'instincts'? Are you designing features based on what you think customers want, or based on direct observation of their actual behavior and underlying needs? Millan's recipe for effective dog leadership is simple: balance exercise, discipline, and affection. Applied to a team, this means giving them challenging work (exercise), clear boundaries and expectations (discipline), and genuine appreciation (affection). Ignoring the first two to jump straight to emotional 'affection' or 'love' from your product or team can lead to chaos.
What to Do With This
This week, pick one area where you might be projecting your own needs or fantasies onto something external: a difficult employee, a struggling product feature, or a seemingly unresponsive market segment. Instead of trying to force your desired outcome, pause. Observe their 'instincts' without judgment. What are their core needs, their natural behaviors? Adjust your approach based on their reality, not your preferred fantasy.